Wagyu Cliffs

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Wagyu Cliffs
Wagyu Cliffs
An artists rendition of Wagyu Cliffs by local artist Arturo Ilisástigui
TypeNatural phenomenon
Situated inGreater Pixlton
Inhabitants37 cows on a good day, scratch that it's 36 now

Wagyu Cliffs is an area near Boople Lighthouse where cows living on the island typically congregate to this area to discuss their life's choices. One of the reasons Pixlton is known across the island is the delicious specialty beef sold by the local butchers. But the source of this succulent meat was a mystery to many. It wasn't until a tourist stumbled upon the steep cliffs on the outskirts of town that the secret was revealed. The cliffs were so high and treacherous that only the bravest of cows would dare to throw themselves off of them. A group of Pixltonian butchers has taken this cruel aspect of nature and decided to monetize it by incorporating this beef into a national dish.

The local butchers would carefully gather the fallen cows and transport them back to town, where they would be expertly butchered and prepared for sale. The meat from these cows was incredibly tender and flavorful, making it a favorite among the townspeople and visitors alike. The sudden impact of going from terminal velocity to hitting the rocks and coming to a standstill gently massages the beef. Combinining that fact with the salty sea water means that this meat is also cured and seasoned ever so slightly.

Despite the dangerous nature of the cliffs, the cows continued to throw themselves off of them, driven by an unknown force. Some theorized that it was a form of suicide, while others believed it to be a strange and unique trait of the Pixlton cows. Regardless of the reason, the town of Pixlton continued to thrive on its reputation for exceptional beef, thanks to the courageous cows who sacrificed themselves for the greater good.

"The Gathering of the Bovines"

The nearby Boople Lighthouse is used as a base of operations for most of Pixlton's butchers. They typically have someone stationed there keeping an eye out on the cliffs 24/7. As soon as a cow plummets to his untimely demise the local butchers leave their store and rush to their boats. Coming in by sea is the only way to reliable gather the meat given the harsh conditions of the area. Once the butchers have arrived they say a solemn prayer thanking the bovine creature for his sacrifice before bartering about who gets which cut. Prime cuts are typically going for roughly $3000 but sometimes even upwards of $6969.

Many have questioned the ethics of this practice, but the butchers of Slaughterville remain unapologetic. They argue that the cows were already doomed to a life of misery and suffering, and that at least their deaths can be put to good use.

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